I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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