Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
