I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
