i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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