its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I bet he comes in French.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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