This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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