I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
