I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
