Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
smell my finger.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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