Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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