Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
