a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
