I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
