My brain says no but my pants say off.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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