Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
