nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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