I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
