I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
