I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
