You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
