john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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