Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
