Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
