It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
