best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
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