I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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