let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
ok first of all what the fuck
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
