so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
You did what with his pubic hair?
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