We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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