time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
