Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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