We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
