Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
