dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
