Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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