I want to make a zoo with you.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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