I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
