Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
