I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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