ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
