There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
