the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Can vaginas get frostbite?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
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