I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
