***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
