ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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