Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
