Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
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