are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
