She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
You are a genius and a whore.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
