i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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